1. According to Republicans Clinton's '93 tax increase was going to bring down the economy. Record prosperity followed.

Wolf was cried by the Republicans, but no wolf appeared. Indeed, a warm puppy appeared with a little keg of barrel proof bourbon, a tin of caviar, and some crackers.

2. Then, a Presidential Daily Briefing to George W. Bush said "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in US." The warning was ignored. Bin Laden did exactly what the PDB said he would do.

The Republicans did not cry wolf, but there ended up being a huge wolf. Not only did the Republicans not cry wolf that time, they ignored the CIA crying wolf.

3. Color-coded warnings started flashing on our TVs. We're all gonna die today! If not, then probably tomorrow! Be on the alert!

Republicans cried wolf repeatedly. Nothing happened.

4. Saddam had WMDs and was trying to get nukes said the Republicans. The President of the United States, in the god-damned State of the Union Address, under heavy lighting, in front of both Houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, and millions of people worldwide said the sixteen words: "The British Government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa."

Republicans cried nuclear wolf repeatedly. The forest was set aflame. Hundreds of thousands of villagers died in the blaze. The entire world looked on in pity and disgust as we humiliated ourselves and broke our treasury. In the end, we got the pelt the Republicans wanted. It wasn't a nuclear wolf pelt, though. It was an old, flea-bitten, toothless coyote.

5. A hurricane wolf attacked New Orleans. The Republicans did not cry wolf before the attack, during the attack, or after the attack for several days. The wolves had their way.

Republicans didn't cry wolf that time. Sure enough, there was one.

6. Then, a recession wolf attacked. Millions of lives devastated. The Republicans did not cry wolf. Indeed, the wolves were happy that the Republicans were in charge of wolf control. It was Republicans who took down all of the wolf fences and wolf guard stations.

Republicans did not cry wolf, and we're all being eaten by wolves as I write this. Surprise.

Now the Republicans are crying wolf on health care reform and climate change agreements. They are shrieking hysterically, waving misspelled placards, dribbling spittle on their computer keyboards. But maybe we aren't the stupid villagers we once were.

If us villagers needed a guarantee that there is no wolf, there is no better indicator than that the Republicans say there is one. It's when the Republicans are quiet that we need to worry.