Not borders, like existed between countries before the huge corporations took over and erased them, but BOUNDARIES. Those personal and societal lines civilized, mentally healthy people do no cross. Those commonly held limits that prevent the worst assaults on communally held standards and civility.

Boundaries are what make it possible for us all to coexist. They are the spoken (laws) and unspoken (customs, traditions) rules by which most members of a society tacitly agree to engage. They are the acceptable limits of behavior.

Cross my personal boundaries and you may be forgiven, but will likely have it explained to you also. That's how I work after spending lots of time studying boundaries and working on not being a doormat by people who claim to care about me. My personal boundaries also prevent me from doing things that will damage me, others, society.

My personal boundaries include provisions about respect, both others and self. Helps maintain the balance between giving or taking too much. Helps maintain health, be it physical, mental, spiritual. One HAS to know when to stop certain activities, lest one overextend themselves in ways that damage one's core body, mind, soul. They prevent me from accepting too much abuse from others; they limit the levels of damage I am willing to accept, to aid in preventing damage from reaching a level I cannot recover from.

My personal boundaries are set to where I do not expect everyone around me to agree with me on all things. Sadly, some people do not have theirs set similarly and are often offended, enraged by things that are commonly accepted by the society as a whole. Those people generally have a lot of frustration and bitterness, feeling they are constantly being assaulted and threatened.

I do not think my personal boundaries are much different from those of most others in my society. Some are better honed, some more rigid, some more flexible because that which they govern is of less import. But most are pretty much in step with the society I grew up in and inhabit. And boundaries evolve as our experiences expand our understanding and perspective.

We do not hold youngsters to the same standards as we maintain for adults. That is a boundary. We help kids to learn and grow. We teach and we try to lead by example. As a child grows, we expect more civilized behavior. We expect boundaries to be coming into place and behavior to be modified to fit within the parameters of commonly understood communal social boundaries.

We do not hold our infirm and diminished to the same standards. We know they are not as able for whatever reason and we allow for more violations or commonly understood communal social boundaries. We show some empathy and make some allowances. Until serious breech of the norm occurs and a person's behavior may constitute a threat to self or community, we tend to just deal with oddities or just avoid those who are constantly odd beyond what is acceptable to OUR personal boundaries.

Where boundaries do not exist, or do not function in ways that allow for reasonable interaction with others in society, problems arise and continue unresolved. Some times the professionals will give such malfunctioning boundaries labels such as 'personality disorder'. If the lack of boundaries is serious enough, it may get labeled as a mental illness. Sometimes these unproductive or unacceptable variances form the societal norms can be addressed (treated) and modified to more productive personal habits which allow for better interaction with society. Sometimes, sadly, they cannot.

We live in our own community. Community has layers. I have my family, my extended family, my friends, acquaintances, neighbors, town and political groups as communities. We all have pretty much the same, and jointly we expand community to include larger groups, perhaps church, state, nation, professional and so on. Each level has different sets of boundaries, of what will and won't be acceptable behavior. It takes some effort to learn the unwritten rules and know what rules (behavior) is allowable by what level of community one may be interacting at a given time.

Some of us are fortunate enough to personally belong to communities that are international. Involvement in such communities can be tremendously enriching and broadening. It can make us more than we were before, more aware of more possibilities, of conditions, of life in all its amazing variety.

Then there are the people, who through birth or endeavor, go on to be citizens of the grand community that is our entire planet. They can do great good or great harm, depending on where the boundaries are set. Hitler’s were set to allow him to do great harm. The Mahatma Ghandi’s were set to make him a highly responsible citizen and teacher. Generals have boundaries that allow for some killing, but stop at others. Officers have boundaries that are supposed to work to keep their subordinates alive and working within parameters that should prevent unnecessary problems.

Leaders need boundaries that allow them to work productively with other leaders, to understand other peoples, have empathy for other people’s needs, desires, and conditions. Leaders have to have solid boundaries in order to protect us from others with poor or no boundaries. Leaders need to be AWARE and to have high personal standards. Those standards have to include knowing when to give and when to hold a line. Boundaries are the soil from which judgment sprouts and grows.

We do not flourish under leadership that has low standards, under leaders who do not have healthy functioning personal boundaries. The past several years have been a sad and glaring example of that truth. As a nation we are not as respected. As a nation, we are hated by many, and sadly, some have damned good reasons now. As a people, we lack inspiring examples of healthy boundaries. That makes it easy for those whose boundaries are not well set to justify their poor behaviors. And it makes it more likely that more and more of us will abandon the standards we used to maintain for our personal behaviors. It makes it easier to lie and cheat, when we see the leadership do it daily.

Our nation needs to work at restoring our place within the international community. To accomplish this, we need to demonstrate that we have healthy, functioning boundaries, that we RESPECT other nations and we ADHERE TO RULE OF LAW our selves. We need to prove we intend to operate with honor, within boundaries they can rely on and trust to be stable enough for healthy relations.

Our nation does not need leaders whose questionable boundaries allow them to sing about bombing a people who have done us no harm.

Our nation does not need leaders whose questionable boundaries allow them to hide their personal dealings if they figure they can gain from hiding them from our scrutiny.

Our nation does not need leaders whose questionable boundaries allow them to hope to profit personally or financially from tragedy.

Our nation does not need leaders whose questionable boundaries let others justify their own destructive behaviors.

Our nation does not need leaders whose questionable boundaries allow them to break laws for their own gain, or the gain of their patrons; to harm society for gain or profit.

Our nations does not need leaders who lessen us rather than inspire and lift us to make ourselves better people, better citizens of our communities and the world.

We need leaders with boundaries and standards. This crap of any means to an end HAS to stop. There has to be law and there has to be standards. Leadership should LEAD, not abuse for lack of healthy boundaries.

Look at the choices we have for our General Election. Look for where the healthy boundaries are. Look at who is defending those boundaries and who is abusing them.

Look for what is healthy and reject what is not healthy. Look beyond self and to the greater good, and pick leaders who share that view. Look for leaders who have vision and real values, boundaries. Do not follow those who do not have such qualities, for they are not leaders, but con artists and narcissists. Do not follow someone who may have a title but who fails to truly inspire others to fulfill potential.

Leaders lead, within boundaries and standards of what is best for the greater community. And We the People can be the leaders. We can set the boundaries. For our democracy to survive, we must take up this mantle and reject any applicants for leadership positions who do not share our boundaries.

The standards for what is acceptable have sunk to such low levels that applicants for the positions of leadership seem to feel we have no standards, no boundaries.

They are wrong. We have boundaries and we need to re-establish, reaffirm standards.

We need leaders who have boundaries, and who respect ours.