CREATING BULLSHIT OUT OF THIN AIR
AM Radio has the power to create fertilizer where only the aether existed. Several honorary gasbags will be featured.

CREATING EXCUSES WHERE NONE CAN BE MADE
Larry Craig leads a panel discussion of how nasty tea-room sex can be explained away as "family values".

CREATION SCIENCE AND OTHER SUCKER BAIT
F. Flintstone and B. Rubble will present their new documentary 'Jesus rides a brontosaurus'.

BOOTSTRAP PULLING
Personal testimonies from people who have won the Lotto on how to shame family members who want to share in on your hard won success.

REAGAN KNOB POLISHING SESSION
Carrots carved in the likeness of Rt. Hon. St. Ronald Reagan the Magnificent will be waxed and placed in offering to the Invisible Hand of the Free Market.

SHIT SELLING CONTEST
Monsanto will present new research on genetically modified pigs which shit chocolate pudding. The attendee eating the most bowls will win an internship with the ranking Republican on the House Agriculture Committee.