January 5th, 2008

Three Hospitalized After Obama Drinking Game

Three Iowa State students remain hospitalized today with alcohol poisoning after participating in a post-caucus drinking game.

"We were watching Barack Obama," said student Randall Caughlin, "and someone suggested we take a drink every time he says 'Change'. Then we started drinking on 'Hope'."

"Next thing I knew, I woke up in the emergency room."

Iowa Board of Health Chairwoman Cheryll Jones said that this was the worst political drinking accident since the Republican National Convention, when 9/11-themed drinking games resulted in seven deaths nationwide.

Jones warned revelers to beware of rules that could lead to dangerous levels of consumption. "If you're drinking every time Huckabee says 'Jesus' or McCain says 'bomb', you're asking for trouble."

She suggested that if you must drink to political speeches, to restrict your sips to actual policy statements. An even safer approach is to only drink to speeches by Hillary Clinton or Mitt Romney, who rarely say anything of consequence.