March 17th, 2008. 12:18 pm
Troubling questions emerge about Obama campaign staff

Candidate admits several more advisors "may not be Martin Luther King, Jr."


The Barack Obama campaign said today that they were looking into new allegations that several of the candidate's campaign advisors were not, in fact, Martin Luther King, Jr. This new scandal, coming so close on the heals of My-Retired-Pastor-is-not-Martin-Luther-King-Jr-gate could spell serious trouble for Obama's bid to be Black President of the United States.

"In earlier campaigns, only the candidate was expected to be Dr. King," said Black Spokesperson Jesse Jackson. Jackson, whose own 1988 campaign for Black President collapsed amid rumors that he, himself, was not Martin Luther King, Jr., said the new requirements that a candidate's staff, family and acquaintances consist of no one but the slain civil rights leader may be difficult to overcome.

Senator Obama addressed the issue himself in a phone interview this morning. "I assure you that we take these charges very seriously," he said. "If anyone on my staff or advisory board can be shown to not be Martin Luther King, Jr., they will no longer be a part of my campaign."

Obama did not say whether he would reject or denounce such staffers. He did, however, vehemently deny rumors that he had ever laughed at a black comedian who was not Bill Cosby or listened to any black musician who was not Hootie and/or the Blowfish.


Retired Pastor Jeremiah Wright, left, shown here next to a
photograph of revered civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr.,
whom Rev. Wright is not.

Hillary Clinton's campaign responded with a brief statement by Chief Campaign Strategist, Mark Penn. "Enough with the math and the insurmountable leads," said Penn. "The Democratic party cannot afford to nominate a candidate for Black President who the white voters of Pennsylvania are not comfortable with."

Penn took care to downplay charges of race-baiting on the part of the Clinton campaign. "This has nothing to do with race. The people of the United State of Pennsylvania will happily support a black candidate, as long as he and all his friends, family and associates are absolutely above reproach in everything they do or say."

Penn ended his statement without taking questions, citing a previous commitment to lead the weekly Atrocity Glossing seminar at Blackwater USA.