I got a call from the returns desk. "Can you come up and verify a door?" Some guy who claimed to be a contractor brought this door back.

Here's a helpful household hint, kids: If you're trying to return an entry door to a lumberyard, it should not look like this if you want them to accept it:

1. Door should not be painted forest green on the front.
2. Door should not be painted glossy antique white on the back.
3. If door is painted forest green on the front and antique white on the back, door should not have severe brush marks in the finish and big globs of other-colored paint all over it. Nor should there be white circles that are approximately the same size as lock rosettes around the lock bores.
4. Door should not be mounted in the frame with three screws per hinge when the door had four in each hinge when you got it. Further, the screws shouldn't have stripped heads, they shouldn't be mounted at an angle and they probably should all be the same color.
5. Door should not have one piece of new brickmould, one that was split and glued back together, and one piece that's rotten at the bottom.
6. Door should not have darker, cleaner area in the middle of it that's approximately the size of a poster.
7. The tape that held the poster to the door shouldn't remain on the door.
8. Door probably shouldn't have foot-shaped dent next to the lock bores.
9. Lock bores shouldn't be sitting at an angle.
10. When these doors leave the store there's an identification tag on each door frame leg. When one of them says the door is made by "Masonite" and the other one says the door is a "Premdor," there's something wrong.
11. The compression weatherstripping around the door shouldn't look like it's six years old.
12. I can tell when you've glued together a split door frame leg. Especially when it's right at the lock mortises.

In other words...if someone kicks your door in and you come to the store for a new one, we are not going to give you all your money back if you bring in the old one.