I agree with you in spirit, that we want the same things. I also agree that it is the public's job to lead. I would add that it's our job to support and sometimes challenge the president and other paid public employees that we hire to help us achieve our goals in a democracy. I also agree with you that as African American private citizens, we tend to appreciate the impact of hate speech on the climate very well, and our role to challenge the haters is crucial.
On the other hand, the president is occupying the most powerful public office in the world, the most prominent place to speak from, and the continuing presence of bigotry calls for appropriate responses that do not stop with the campaign. Racism is one of our deepest problems, a consistent impediment to all our efforts to create good social policy since the colonial era. Developing policies that help bridge the achievement gaps between cultural and ethnic communities in this country is inextricably part of "making this country run better," as you put it. The presidents that have made the most contributions to creating a more just and equal society (Lincoln, Kennedy, Johnson, even Clinton) understood this, and I count FDR too because he recognized class and regional differences in achievement and legislated accordingly.
If President Obama is going to style himself after Lincoln, he should recognize how the right's stoking the fires of racial division is exactly what we don't need, and respond accordingly. I don't expect him to miraculously change racism; I want him to oppose it, the same thing I expect from any Democrat (I've written letters to Russ Feingold for failing to speak up when his boy McCain and Sarah Pallin-around were calling a sitting U.S. Senator a terrorist) or any citizen. The president will get no props from me for PC talking points, though I guess in the end if he takes the country further by being reticent to speak about racial issues, it's all good. But wouldn't you agree that the Democratic Party's failure to challenge the right wing is part of what got us in this big hairy mess in the first place?