This is a disturbing trend. I confess, since before and after my spinal fusion i have been using some form of hydrocodone. I've had it prescribed before and had little trouble getting back off when 6 weeks healing time was up. This time my back is somewhat better but I have ugly neuropathy in both of my legs and feet. I hold court on myself everyday, feeling like I'm going to be a disappointment to my doctor, the State Insurance fund, and the lawyer. The chronic pain is just a stone cold drag. I'm not back to being a productive citizen and I do have a work ethic. I'm mean to myself. I don't like people who sit home and don't work. I don't like myself too much right now and so there is a sad child in me who wants to do better to please the super ego. Guess who uses an antidepressant? I also have unusually high empathy and compassion....for other people. I worry for the safety of political prisoners, everywhere. I donate to Amnesty International when I can. I can't stand the thought of torture no matter what the reason. I have great psychic pain caused by what I know we are doing to other human beings around the world. I feel bad when we bomb the Afghans off their barren, rocky cliffs and caves. Talk about dirt, poor and living in the stone age. I'm a MITHOP person so it seems even more cruel and crazy to go after families living in caves with fighter jets. We should be dropping care packages. Iraq is 120 degrees with no water and electricity, this is our mission? To deprive little children of clean water? When I'm hurting I know someone has it worse than me and it's probably because some CIA agent has them starving, tied in a stress position, in a freezing room, doused with water. We are feeling the pain of the world, which we have caused.