preferably a good analysis of HOW they were eliminated and what it means! time to shut up another emailing bush-bot. THANK YOU!!

<snip> LACEY'S SPRING, Ala. --A robbery suspect gave authorities a bit of help when he fled the scene of a noon holdup at People's Bank of North Alabama: He left his personal bankbook. James Danny Lancaster, 64, of Cullman, was charged with first-degree robbery and remained in Morgan County Jail Tuesday on a $10,000 bond. Information in the bankbook put investigators on Lancaster's trail. He was arrested less than 90 minutes after the holdup. When an officer stopped Lancaster's car, po...

3...2...1... <snip> NEW DELHI --In an effort to keep monkeys out of the New Delhi subways, authorities have called in one of the few animals known to scare the creatures -- a fierce-looking primate called the langur, the Hindustan Times newspaper reported Wednesday. The decision to hire a langurwallah -- a man who trains and controls the langurs -- came after a monkey got into a metro car in June, the newspaper reported. The langur handler is being paid a retainer of India rupees 6,900...

<snip> Man arrested after accident sends sister to hospital; car's bumper sticker proclaims, 'I'm a drunk' EUREKA -- A 19-year-old woman was in intensive care Wednesday after she suffered major head injuries in a Tuesday night collision on Harris Street. Her brother was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving. Accident victim Jaime Lee was one of four people hospitalized after the crash. She remained in intensive care as of Wednesday evening. Her brother, Jeremy Daniel Lee, 22, ...

<snip> VERMILION, Ohio -- Police said a drunk man drove a lawnmower to a store about a mile from his house. They arrested him on his way home. Dondi Bowles, 50, was arrested Friday night as he drove the mower on a sidewalk. Police said a breath test showed that Bowles' blood alcohol level was 0.144 percent, nearly twice the legal limit of 0.08 percent. It was his third DUI arrest in six months, they said. The lawnmower was towed. Vermilion is on Lake Erie, about 40 miles west of Clev...

<snip> CLEARWATER, Fla. -- The gig is up on a Florida man missing for 20 years. He was found alive in England pretending to be a British lord. Charlie Stopford of Clearwater disappeared in 1983. During a routine passport check, immigration authorities discovered Stopford was pretending to be Lord Christopher Edward Buckingham. He had even created fake stationary and a coat of arms. The real Christopher Buckingham died as an infant. Stopford married and fathered two children under his f...

<snip> Los Angeles -- On Easter Sunday, inside the million-dollar houses on a quiet cul-de-sac in Encino, the neighborhood kids delighted in what the Easter Bunny had brought. Then, about 10 a.m., the porn stars showed up. Helaine Gesas, who has lived on Hayvenhurst Avenue for 38 years, was cooking when she noticed men hauling cameras and lights into the two-story house across the street. Neighbor Kerry Cohen, a paralegal and mother, was on her way to organize a charity event. As sh...

<snip> OMAHA, Neb. --What started out as a possible child abandonment case in Omaha on Wednesday turned out to be a misunderstanding, police say. Police received a call from a woman who said another woman she didn't know had driven up to her home, handed her a baby boy and a diaper bag and left. It turns out, the woman was the baby's grandmother and thought she was dropping the baby off at day care, but she had the wrong address, officers said. Police said the incident was a misunderst...

<snip> LABELLE, Fla. -- Ronald Bergeron wanted to put on a show when he came across a nearly 8-foot alligator while giving guests a tour of his private nature preserve. The alligator had another idea. Bergeron, a South Florida real estate tycoon, was bit on the hand while trying to wrestle the animal and dragged into water 15-feet deep Sunday. Those who witnessed the event spent the weekend at the 5,000-plus-acres by donating $10,000 to the Boys and Girls Club. "Couples donate a lot of...

<snip> JACKSONVILLE, Fla. --After being told by her apartment complex management that it was not their responsibility to remove a snake from her porch, a woman set the reptile on fire and caused $1,000 damage to vinyl siding. Shatavia Kearney, 19, called the Charter Landing Apartments office Sunday and asked someone to remove a snake from her porch. Police said she was told to deal with the situation herself, The Florida Times-Union reported Wednesday So Kearney doused the snake with a ...

<snip> BHUBANESWAR, India -- Cheered by thousands, a 4-year-old boy dubbed "India's Forrest Gump" ran 40 miles to enter the country's foremost record book. "I loved running today. I can run as much as I want," Budhia Singh told reporters Tuesday after the run. Then he sucked his thumb. Budhia had planned to run 43 miles, but doctors stopped him after 40 miles when he showed signs of extreme exhaustion. His coach, Biranchi Das, said he completed the distance in seven hours and two minute...

<snip> A McHenry County man is suing his marriage counselor, contending the therapist he hired to help improve his marriage instead began an affair with his wife. That relationship eventually prompted the couple to divorce, according to the breach-of-contract suit filed by 35-year-old Scott Buetow of Lake in the Hills. His lawsuit seeks more than $200,000 in punitive damages from his former counselor, Dan Blair, and the Arbor Counseling Center where Blair works. "He had an obligation ...

<snip> CROWN POINT | A Highland man, who claims to have mailed boxes of "cat poop sandwiches" to Lake County courts Monday to protest a small claims case, has locked himself in his home in anticipation of being arrested. "I'm not coming out of this house," he said. Richard Carroll, 54, is the same man who early last month sent a package to Lake Superior Court Magistrate Michael Pagano that a hazardous materials team examined. Carroll, who insists he's not violent, said he believes he's...

<snip> SALISBURY -- It wasn't the Saturday bomb threat at North Salisbury Wal-Mart that had people talking Monday morning. It was, however, a sticky situation. A 20-year-old Salisbury man was taken to Peninsula Regional Medical Center late Sunday night after a Wal-Mart employee found the man glued to his bathroom seat, said Lt. Cheryl Rantz of the Salisbury Police Department. "The man had gone into the bathroom and sat down," she said. "He was banging on the wall when the employee ca...

<snip> A 76-year-old woman was killed in a Queens cemetery yesterday when her own idling car rolled into her as she visited her husband's grave, cops said. Evanglista Vartholomeou of 150th St. in Briarwood was spotted by an off-duty transit cop pinned under her 1991 Lincoln Continental at 4:50 p.m. in the Maple Grove Cemetery on Kew Gardens Road. "She may have left the car running and not realized it," said an official at the scene. Cops said the car rolled over and pinned the elderly w...

<snip> TUCSON, Ariz. -- Hey, dude! You're nude! And that's just the way the owners of an Arizona dude ranch want it. The Mira Vista opens Monday as a clothing optional resort on 30 acres in Tucson. Guests can play tennis, do Yoga or lounge by the pool with nothing on but sunscreen. The property used to be a guest ranch favored by the Hollywood elite in the 1930s. Dave Landman, one of the new owners, said while clothing is optional, good behavior is mandatory. He said theirs is a family...

(Image) (Image) <snip> Ron Patrick is approaching the age of 50, a time when many men begin thinking about minutiae like pensions and second homes and third cars. But Patrick is far more interested in telling you why it is that he has stuck a big jet engine in the back of a prosaic silver Volkswagen. He's standing out in a parking lot, waving his arms with wild enthusiasm, pointing at the car as if he were a 15-year-old who's just had his first ride in a Corvette, his eyes spinning in...

<snip> DYERSBURG, Tenn. --A trailer containing $100,000 worth of Red Bull energy drinks seemingly grew wings. A truck driver reported last weekend that his 53-foot trailer containing 2,880 cases of the energy drink was stolen. Geoffrey Winchester said he parked the truck on Old Highway 51. According to the Dyer County Sheriff's Department, another truck must have pulled the trailer away from the truck and hauled off the load Sunday. The truck's window had been broken and its satellite ...

<snip> MOUNT PLEASANT — Trash bags filled with regurgitated food have been found littering the former Pleasant Lawn School area and in roadside ditches northeast of Mount Pleasant over the last three years. Late last summer, the Henry County Sheriff's Office thought the littering had stopped. Then, on April 11, the office received another call. "The last call was four bags," said Deputy Dan Wesely. Over the last three years, dozens of bags may been dropped, Wesely said. "There is no...

<snip> MOUNT PLEASANT, Wis. - A small stretch of this Wisconsin village might want to change its name to "Mount Unpleasant" now that the diaper dumper has struck again. Residents along Braun Road report 12 to 15 of the used adult diapers have shown up in the grassy ditch, apparently dumped in the middle of the night. Similar activity had been reported to The Journal Times of Racine in January before it stopped, at least temporarily. Police haven't received any reports about the latest...

<snip> LAKE BUENA VISTA, Fla. -- Orange County deputies are trying to find out how an 18-month old child fell 30 feet from an apartment window. Channel nine spoke to a neighbor who saw the whole thing. Ria Evens said the toddler fell from the window into the mulch below at the Mystic Point Apartments in Lake Buena Vista At first, she saw the child's foot dangling and thought someone was holding him. Moments later, she realized he was in danger. "He was hanging from the window. My mom s...

<snip> PADUCAH, Ky. --There's a giant pink bra hanging off a balcony at In Bloom Floral in Paducah. It's an advertisement for what's inside: an exhibit featuring 36 bras decorated by local artists titled "The Art of Underpinnings." The Retired and Senior Volunteer Program at the Paducah-McCracken County Senior Citizens Center is sponsoring the exhibit in conjunction with the American Quilter's Society Quilt Show & Contest for the second year. Artists painted or sewed items on bras to ma...

<snip> SAN SALVADOR, El Salvador -- A Salvadoran woman is in some trouble after she allegedly tried to smuggle into the country's main prison a military grenade and marijuana hidden in her vagina. The cylinder was about 10 inches long and 4 inches wide. Officials didn't say what prompted them to check Lidia Alvarado, 44, but authorities have raised the security level at jails across the country, fearing inmates may be planning something. Alvarado was visiting two inmates serving 25 and ...

<snip> BAY MINETTE, Ala. -- Some Alabama middle school students got an education all right -- but it wasn't the educational film their teacher had in mind. Three eighth-graders have been expelled from Bay Minette Middle School in Bay Minette, after showing an X-rated film in class. School district officials said the students slipped the DVD into a classroom player while their teacher's back was turned. The class had been watching an educational video. Another student told the teacher w...

since they spent their time from 5:00 am to 5:30 am F*CKING right outside my bedroom window :grr: someone fire up the popper cause i'm too tired :popcorn:

<snip> Joseph "Donald" Scordato offered a rare defense when Ridgewood police charged him with masturbating in public. "That's not possible," the 81-year-old man told police after his arrest in September. "I don't have a penis." Scordato, of Paterson, appeared for his arraignment Monday in state Superior Court in Hackensack on one count of lewdness. Brought into the courtroom in a wheelchair, he fell asleep while he waited for his case to be called. He said he wasn't able to hire a la...

<snip> ATF agents are always on alert for anything suspicious — including ninjas. Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearm agents, on campus Tuesday for Project Safe Neighborhoods training, detained a “suspicious individual” near the Georgia Center, University Police Chief Jimmy Williamson said. Jeremiah Ransom, a sophomore from Macon, was leaving a Wesley Foundation pirate vs. ninja event when he was detained. After being held in investigative detention, he was found to have violated no criminal ...

:popcorn: <snip> Michael Wilford says he was simply a sperm donor. Christin Harris says he was much more than that to her. Now, the Glenview woman wants him to provide child support and a college fund and pay medical expenses for the 2-year-old twin daughters he fathered. But the Downers Grove man says it's a case of "involuntary parentage," as he had no intention of doing anything more than provide his ex-girlfriend with the semen she needed to conceive. <snip> Wilford said h...

<snip> A 15-year-old Buffalo girl was charged over the weekend after she admitted making about 1,000 fake 911 calls from her cell phone and six 911 prank calls from a church telephone, police said Monday. The girl could be a "copycat," mirroring the highly publicized case of Juan Merced, the prime suspect in nearly 1,000 fake 911 calls from his family's West Side home, police said. Merced, his wife, Felicita, and their oldest son, Eladio, 17, have been charged after the phony emergenc...

<snip> WATERLOO, IA - Two people who police say conspired to get off of work for a few days by filing a fake obituary with a newspaper have been arrested. James Ralph Snyder, 36, and Mary Jo Elizabeth Jensen, 33, both of Waterloo, participated in the scam by filing an obituary saying Jensen's 17-year-old son had died, police said. Snyder was charged with tampering with records. Jensen was charged with being an accessory after the fact. Snyder, claiming he was Daniel Reddout's ...