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Joseph "Donald" Scordato offered a rare defense when Ridgewood police charged him with masturbating in public.

"That's not possible," the 81-year-old man told police after his arrest in September. "I don't have a penis."

Scordato, of Paterson, appeared for his arraignment Monday in state Superior Court in Hackensack on one count of lewdness.

Brought into the courtroom in a wheelchair, he fell asleep while he waited for his case to be called. He said he wasn't able to hire a lawyer because he was in the hospital.

State Superior Court Judge William Meehan instructed him to get a lawyer before his next hearing on April 24.

"Can I represent myself?" Scordato asked.

"Then you will have a fool for a client," the judge replied.

Authorities say Scordato parked his car across the street from a movie theater on Cottage Place on Sept. 16, unzipped his pants and began masturbating in the middle of the afternoon.

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