We’re all Americans. Liberal or conservative, Democratic or Republican, Rush Limbaugh or Al Franken, we all believe in democracy, right? It’s our core belief—the majority rules. It’s what this country stands for—free and fair elections.

A quick look at history since World War II however shows us just the opposite about our conservative compatriots. They are perfectly willing to abide by the will of the majority . . . when it suits them. They are perfectly willing to pay lip-service to the idea of democracy, when it serves their purposes. But as far as really believing in democracy above all else—they don’t.

Consider these inconvenient facts.

In the early 1950’s, Iran’s duly-elected Parliament under the leadership of Prime Minister Dr. Mohammed Mossadegh had the unmitigated gall to vote to keep Iran oil profits in Iran to benefit the people that actually own the oil. This blocked profits to the Anglo-Iranian Oil Company, a multinational corporation with the political pull to influence world powers. Despite Britain’s embargo of Iran, US President Harry Truman refused to allow the CIA to overthrow Mossadegh. Under the conservative Eisenhower, these plans went forward. CIA and British intelligence funded and led a coup d’etat code named Operation Ajax that re-installed the Shah and set the stage for the worst “blowback” to CIA intervention one could ever imagine—after the corruption and despotism of the Shah resulted in Iran’s rejection of all things Western, Muslim fundamentalist Ayatollah Khomeni returned to overthrow the Shah and seize power. Iran has remained an implacable US foe since then and a major sponsor of terrorism against the US.

The conservatives sold out our highest value for corporate interests and still failed in maintaining an open door for Western business. Not only did they do evil, they did badly.

But simply supplanting a duly-elected Prime Minister with a feudal monarch in Iran did not content the conservatives, with so many more countries to be converted from part of the free world to part of the free market. The democratically elected President of Guatemala found that out in 1954. Jacobo Arbenz had the temerity to carry forward popular land-reform measures and to build a highway that threatened the economic hegemony of the United Fruit Company, in other words, another communist who cared more about people than profits. The US picked an army colonel as their puppet, and when a panicked Arbenz fled to the Mexican embassy, the US had the colonel flown to the capital in the Ambassador’s private plane.

Now that’s democracy, conservative-style.

But why bother with a military coup when you can just fix the elections? That’s what conservatives did in the 1957 Parliamentary elections in Lebanon to ensure that the Christians bested the Muslims. The losers, unlike here in America, didn’t “get over it.” They rose up in armed rebellion. In for a dime, in for a dollar, Eisenhower sent in the marines to restore “order.” Funny how “order” imposed at the barrel of a gun never seems to last . . . In the mid-seventies civil war broke out again and escalated until Reagan sent in the marines again. Over two hundred were killed in a single day—the victims of a suicide truck bomber—forcing the US out of Lebanon for good.

The Reagan administration also showed how sometimes you have to destroy democracy to save it when they began funding the Contras in response to the first ever elections held in Nicaragua, elections won overwhelmingly by the left-leaning Sandinistas. When the Democratic Congress cut off the funding to the Contras in response to the will of the majority of Americans, Reagan simply found secret and illegal ways to funnel money to the Contras. The CIA also mined Nicaraguan harbors to kneecap their international trade in an act of blatant terrorism.

But Reagan had a good teacher in realpolitick—his mentor, Henry Kissinger is currently a wanted criminal in Europe for helping to install the brutal dictator Augusto Pinochet and oust the popularly elected Salvatore Allende in Chile. The CIA under Nixon and Kissinger plotted to kidnap and kill a key general loyal to the constitution and law. They were successful. Once the impediment of this honest public servant was removed, the power-seeking military junta did the rest. Allende was dead, Pinochet was in. Viva la Doctrina de Monroe!

Next time, we’ll look at how the Bush Administration has proven themselves enemies to real democracy here and abroad, despite their constant trotting out of the democratic pony. But until then, when you see a conservative, do your country a favor and ask him when he is going to stop hating democracy and start supporting American values?