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Mutley's $.02
If there is one thing that is surely true about DU, it's that people will be bluntly honest, and I need that right now.
My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about two months ago. We still live together because our lease isn't up until April, and neither of us can afford to move or live in this house alone. He started seeing someone else shortly after we broke up. I didn't flip out or show jealousy. For the most part, anyway. I am human. I asked him for two things that I didn't think were too much to ask: that he not bring his new girlfriend to the house, even when I'm not there, and that he not lie to me. And I didn't mean that he could never bring his girlfriend over. I just meant that for a while, until I had a chance to get over him, I'd like my house to be a sanctuary where I never have to worry about running into her. He agreed. Whether it was too much for me to ask that he not bring her over, he agreed and promised that he wouldn't.
A few times along the way I questioned whether he was bringing her over, and he got angry with me, saying that it hurts him that I would think him so inconsiderate and disrespectful of our friendship. He actually made me feel like a horrible person and a horrible friend for thinking such a thing. I apologized, and meant it.
For the last week or so he's been very flirty with me and even suggested a few times that we should hook up "for old time's sake". I did not hook up with him, because I know that doing so would be too hard for me emotionally. He also said he might not be as into her as he thought he was because her family is "a bunch of rednecks".
So, today I decided to go home for dinner during my break at work. I didn't think he would be there because he'd said he and his girlfriend were going to the movies and dinner. And I'm sure you're already thinking it -- yes, the two of them were there watching TV. I lost it. Well, not too bad. I said to her, "you should know that he's been trying to get me to fuck him for the last week." Then he went out to my car with me and we fought about it. I told him that I couldn't be his friend if he's not only going to lie to me, but also make me feel like shit over something that he knows I was right about.
So, cut through several hours of us texting threats at each other. He started apologizing and asking me to please stay his friend. He said I was his best friend and he was all torn up at the thought of losing me in that way. I told him that the only way I could consider staying friends with him is if he told her the truth about trying to sleep with me. I think she should know. He instantly got pissed again and said I was being unreasonable. He said that I was trying to make him chose between me and her. And sure, the evil side of me would feel some satisfaction at her leaving him. But the reality is that if he lets her believe I was lying, and he hasn't been trying to cheat on her, then he has no integrity, and he's going to hurt her as badly as he's hurt me. I just don't think I want a friend like that in my life.
So, yeah. What does DU think?
Until the polar bear ate the dog for dinner. 
One of the biggest problems I had with the Republican controlled government was that there was very little relevant opposition to keep the Republicans in line. And we are all perfectly aware of how that is ending in a cauldron of lies and scandal and villainy.
Now the Democrats control Congress, and if things keep looking as good for us as they do now (knock wood), we'll likely win the presidency in '08 as well. Seems like a great thing, and in Many ways it is. However, if that should happen we will then have a Democratic controlled government, with little relevant opposition to keep the Democrats in line.
However much we like and respect any given candidate, that person is still human, and is still susceptible to the lure of corruption.
Is it any better for the Democrats to have complete control than it was for the Republicans? In the event that we do eventually take control of all three branches, how do we keep the corruption at bay? How do we keep from falling into the same trap as those who still insist to this day that Bush is the best thing to ever happen to America? How do we ensure that everyone, liberal and conservative alike, is represented fairly in the governing of this country?
I must be Told how to eat my nachos? 
I remember my first roller coaster ride like a vivid dream – the sun beating down on me as I waited in line with my sister; the sweat dripping down my temples, and down my back; the bored or anxious chatting of the other riders waiting in line; my heart pounding in my chest as I listened to the cars roaring by overhead and the riders screaming in terrified euphoria.
I was seven, and I was with my family on our annual trip to Busch Gardens in Williamsburg. It was summer, and it was hot; Busch Gardens always meant cooling down on water rides after waiting in long lines, trying to eat a stick of cotton candy before it melted into a sticky mess all over my hands, playing endless games of ring toss in hopes of winning a sad little goldfish, and competing with my sister as to who would chicken out when it came to the scariest rides. I always lost because I was younger and I hadn’t yet learned how to find enjoyment in fear. I’d vowed not to chicken out this year. My pride wouldn’t allow it. I’d grown a lot since the summer before, and I knew I would not be saved by height requirements as I’d been in years past. There would be no excuse to avoid the roller coasters.
That’s how I ended up in line for the Big Bad Wolf. I’d hoped no one would notice as we approached the red and black entrance sign with the fierce cartoon wolf carved on the side – maybe a cute boy, or a souvenir cart with shiny bracelets and hip tie-dye tank-tops would distract my sister’s attention, but I knew that would never happen. She stopped in front of the opening and didn’t say a word, but only stood there smirking at me before she ran up the entrance ramp. She didn’t look back to see if I was following, but she automatically assumed I wouldn’t be there. I narrowed my eyes at her as she disappeared around the corner, and I made my decision.
From under the awning, we could watch the cars fly by at what seemed like light speed, and the anxiety built in my chest each time they roared through. The sound was deafening, and the screaming passengers made my stomach turn. I could smell the sweat from the man standing behind me, and it made my stomach turn even more. The line moved agonizingly slow. Hours passed, or it felt that way, before it was finally our turn. My urge to turn and run was so strong, and my sister knew it. Her knowing smile was the only thing that kept me from passing out as we climbed into our seats. Seconds ticked by as I waited. Our legs swung freely below us; unprotected. I feared a bird would slam into my feet and break a bone, or a wasp would get in my eye. I envisioned cars coming to a screeching halt as we sat upside-down in our seats, the blood rushing to my head as I screamed for freedom. Perhaps the cars would jolt off the tracks plunging into the lake where we’d all drown as we were trapped in our seats by the shoulder harnesses.
Panic had me turning to the attendant to let me out, but the cars suddenly jerked into motion. This wasn’t one of those coasters that slowly made its way up a hill to build anticipation. Oh no. It immediately curved down and to the left – gaining speed quickly. The seats clung to hinges as they swung back and forth and we swept past buildings and trees; each time it looked as though we’d crash into something, then turn away at the last second. Tinny growling and scary music played from nearby speakers, but all I heard was the terrible screaming. At first, I didn’t realize it was coming from me.
Before I could think, we were hovering over the long, steep drop above the lake. My hands gripped the shoulder harness so tightly they were going numb. There was a short pause, then down we went into a free-fall, the wind sucked the breath from my lungs, the roaring of the cars and the screaming of the riders filled my ears, a hose sprayed us from above to give the sensation of plunging into the water a mere seconds before we turned up and away toward the sky. I squinted against the sun and saw a lone hawk circling far above. For a moment, I heard nothing as I watched the bird soar, and then forgot him as we were swept back down into a grove of trees.
The rest was a blur as the drop at the lake scrambled my brain. Reaching the end, I climbed out with wobbly legs. My heart still pounded, spots danced in the corner of my vision from holding my breath. I’d done it. I’d finally ridden a roller coaster, and I’d survived. My sister claimed the trophy that day as there were other rides I couldn’t bring myself to try, but it didn’t matter because, as we walked together down the exit ramp of the Big Bad Wolf, she put her arms around my shoulders and said, “You did good, kid. I’m proud of you.”
 That is my sister in the blue shorts, and me in the red. Also, my grandmother. I miss her.
Rogue  
Will someone sing me a lullaby? 
Well, c'mon now. Give it up. 
I've decided to jump on this bandwagon.  My answers will come a bit later. 1. Have you ever been in a car accident? 2. How old were you when you first kissed someone, or were kissed by someone, in a not so platonic manner? 3. Have you ever made a prank phone call? 4. What are you afraid of? 5. Do you have any hidden talents? 6. What is your first thought when waking up in the morning? 7. Have you ever broken a bone? 8. Do you make wishes on shooting stars? 9. Do you prefer talking on the phone or online? 10. What is the best compliment you have ever received?
One of my absolute favorite songs since I was old enough to know what a song was.
=====================================================
ME & BOBBY MCGEE Janis Joplin
Busted flat in Baton Rouge, waitin' for a train And I's feelin' near as faded as my jeans Bobby thumbed a diesel down just before it rained It rode us all the way into New Orleans I pulled my harpoon out of my dirty red bandana I's playin' soft while Bobby sang the blues, yeah Windshield wipers slappin' time, I's holdin' Bobby's hand in mine We sang every song that driver knew, yeah
Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose Nothin' don't mean nothin' hon' if it ain't free, no no And feelin' good was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues You know, feelin' good was good enough for me Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee
From the Kentucky coal mine to the California sun There Bobby shared the secrets of my soul Through all kinds of weather, through everything we done Yeah, Bobby baby kept me from the cold One day up near Salinas, Lord, I let him slip away He's lookin' for that home and I hope he finds it But I'd trade all o' my tomorrows for one single yesterday To be holdin' Bobby's body next to mine
Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose Nothin', that's all that Bobby left me, yeah But if feelin' good was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues Hey, feelin' good was good enough for me, mm-hmm Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee
La-da-da La-da-da-da La-da-da da-da da-da La-da-da da-la-da la-da, Bobby McGee, yeah La-da-la-da-la-da La-da-la-da-da La-da-la-da-la-la, Bobby McGee, yeah La-da-da La-da-da La da-da La da-da La-da-da La da-da La da-da Hey, my Bobby, Lord, my Bobby McGee, yeah Lo-da-lo da-la-lo-da-la Lo-da-la-lo da-la-lo la-la-lo la-la-lo la-la Hey, my Bobby, Lord, my Bobby McGee, yeah
Lord, I call him my lover, call him my man I said I call him my lover, did the best I can, c'mon Hey now Bobby now, hey now Bobby McGee, yeah La-da la-da la-da la-da la-da la-da la-da la-la Hey, hey, hey, Bobby McGee, Lord!
La-da la-da la-da la-da la-da la-da la-da la Hey, hey, hey, Bobby McGee, yeah
So I go to the store for my lunch. In front is a small group of guys talking, and I don't pay them much attention. I get my lunch and when I come out again one of the guys says, "Hey look, it's a woman who knows how to drive a STICK, heh heh heh." (my car is a manual) Charming indeed. 
Or in a place where people avoid all acknowledgment of each other?
Which do you prefer?
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Profile Information Mutley
Not a DU Donor 21038 posts Member since Tue Nov 23rd 2004 Maryland Blogroll DU Journals
Other Blogs A bit of Poetry
O Fortuna
O Fortuna, velut Luna statu variabilis, semper crescis aut decrescis; vita detestabilis nunc obdurat et tunc curat ludo mentis aciem; egestatem, potestatem, dissolvit ut glaciem.
Sors immanis et inanis, rota tu volubilis, status malus, vana salus semper dissolubilis; obumbrata et velata mihi quoque niteris; nunc per ludum dorsum nudum fero tui sceleris.
Sors salutis et virtutis mihi nunc contraria; est affectus et defectus semper in angaria. hac in hora sine mora cordae pulsum tangite! quod per sortem sternit fortem, mecum omnes plangite!
O Fortuna (English Translation)
O Fortune, like the moon of ever changing state, you are always waxing or waning; hateful life now is brutal, now pampers our feelings with its game; poverty, power, it melts them like ice.
Fate, savage and empty, you are a turning wheel, your position is uncertain, your favour is idle and always likely to disappear; covered in shadows and veiled you bear upon me too; now my back is naked through the sport of your wickedness.
The chance of prosperity and of virtue is not now mine; whether willing or not, a man is always liable for Fortune's service. At this hour without delay touch the strings! Because through luck she lays low the brave, all join with me in lamentation!
When we two parted
1 When we two parted In silence and tears, Half broken-hearted To sever for years, Pale grew thy cheek and cold, Colder thy kiss; Truly that hour foretold Sorrow to this.
2 The dew of the morning Sunk chill on my brow-- It felt like the warning Of what I feel now. Thy vows are all broken, And light is thy fame; I hear thy name spoken, And share in its shame.
3 They name thee before me, A knell to mine ear; A shudder comes o'er me-- Why wert thou so dear? They knew not I knew thee, Who knew thee too well:-- Long, long shall I rue thee, Too deeply to tell.
4 In secret we met-- In silence I grieve, That thy heart could forget, Thy spirit deceive, If I should meet thee After long years, How should I greet thee!-- With silence and tears.
-Lord Byron (1815)
Dog
The dog trots freely in the street and sees reality and the things he sees are bigger than himself and the things he sees are his reality Drunks in doorways Moons on trees The dog trots freely thru the street and the things he sees are smaller than himself Fish on newsprint Ants in holes Chickens in Chinatown windows their heads a block away The dog trots freely in the street past puddle and babies cats and cigars poolrooms and policemen He doesn't hate cops He merely has no use for them and he goes past them and past the dead cows hung up whole in front of the San Francisco Meat Market He would rather eat a tender cow than a tough policeman though either might do And he goes past the Romeo Ravioli Factory and past Coit's Tower but he's not afraid of Congressman Doyle although what he hears is very discouraging very depressing very absurd to a sad young dog like himself to a serious dog like himself But he has his own free world to live in His own fleas to eat He will not be muzzled Congressman Doyle is just another fire hydrant to him The dog trots freely in the street and has his own dog's life to live and to think about and to reflect upon touching and tasting and testing everything investigating everything without benefit of perjury a real realist with a real tale to tell and a real tail to tell it with a real live barking democratic dog engaged in real free enterprise with something to say about ontology something to say about reality and how to see it and how to hear it with his head cocked sideways at streetcorners as if he is just about to have his picture taken for Victor Records listening for His Master's Voice and looking like a living questionmark into the great gramaphone of puzzling existence with its wonderous hollow horn which always seems just about to spout forth some Victorious answer to everything
-Lawrence Ferlinghetti
When I have fears
WHEN I have fears that I may cease to be Before my pen has glean’d my teeming brain, Before high piled books, in charact’ry, Hold like rich garners the full-ripen’d grain; When I behold, upon the night’s starr’d face, Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance, And think that I may never live to trace Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance; And when I feel, fair creature of an hour! That I shall never look upon thee more, Never have relish in the faery power Of unreflecting love! - then on the shore Of the wide world I stand alone, and think Till Love and Fame to nothingness do sink.
-John Keats (1848)
Belfast Confetti
Suddenly as the riot squad moved in, it was raining exclamation marks, Nuts, bolts, nails, car-keys. A fount of broken type. And the explosion Itself --- an asterisk on the map. This hyphenated line, a burst of rapid fire... I was trying to complete a sentence in my head, but it kept stuttering. All the alleyways and side-streets blocked with stops and colons.
I know this labyrinth so well --- Balaclava, Raglan, Inkerman, Odessa Street --- Why can't I escape? Every move is puntuated. Crimea Street. Dead end again. A Saracen, Kremlin-2 mesh. Makrolon face-shields. Walkie-talkies. What is My name? Where am I coming from? Where am I going? A fussilade of question marks.
-Ciaran Carson
London
I wander thro' each charter'd street, Near where the charter'd Thames does flow, And mark in every face I meet Marks of weakness, marks of woe.
In every cry of every Man, In every Infant's cry of fear, In every voice, in every ban, The mind forg'd manacles I hear:
How the Chimney-sweepers's cry Every blackning Church appalls, And the hapless Soldier's sigh Runs in blood down Palace walls.
But most thro' midnight streets I hear How the youthful Harlot's curse Blasts the new-born Infant's tear, And blights with plague's the Marriage hearse.
-William Blake 1794
Ozymandias
I met a traveller from an antique land, Who said -- "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone Stand in the desart...Near them, on the sand, Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown, And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command, Tell that its scilptor well those passions read Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things, The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed; And on the pedestal, these words appear: My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings, Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair! Nothing beside remains. Round the decay Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare The lone and level sands stretch far away."
-Percey Shelley (1818)
Contact Mutley
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