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poverlay's Journal
Posted by poverlay in General Discussion: Presidential (Through Nov 2009)
Wed Oct 10th 2007, 10:09 AM
cousin I thought better of. Anyone have any clever ideas on answers before I blast the hell out of her? (And probably end my relationship with her.)
Here is the text of the email.
It's an oldy, but not a goody:

Subject: Fwd: How do I Becoming Illegal ?

Becoming Illegal
(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted
the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the
process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently
passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my
understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien
who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to
become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five

I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get
the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay
taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of
taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply
to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and
my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying
premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save
almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter
would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications,
as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the
United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance
premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college
age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become
illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would
be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA

Any help from DUers welcome and in advance:
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