Dilemma of the Pillow Angel

I've been listening and reading various opinions regarding the Pillow Angel. The reactions have ranged from admiration to disgust to outrage at the parent's decision.

Before we take up sides and start firing letters off or contacting our legislators, I would like you to consider a few things.

First - how different is this situation than that of Terry Shaivo? In Terry's case we are talking about a woman who once had a quality of life and then had none. While the Pillow Angel has has no quality of life and will have no quality of life at all.

Terry was cared for in a facility as her parents were unable to meet her medical needs in a home environment. Currently, the Pillow Angel's needs are being met by her parents and at home.

Second - Ask yourself what you would do in the same situation. But, before that - do this:

1. Go work in a residential program for severe to profoundly mentally retarded adults who are also physically handicapped. Work a regular 40 hour week for 3 weeks, rotating between the 3 shifts.

2. Next go work for 3 week in an institution which the Pillow Angel's would most like be able to afford. Again work a week on each shift, on the ward with the most physically and mentally disabled patients.

After doing that - ask yourself if you could do it 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

It's not an easy question to answer. I worked in state hospitals, residential programs, sheltered workshops with retarded and/or mentally ill and/or physically disabled adults who's abilities ranged from near normal to extremely and profoundly retarded. I wiped butts, changed menstrual pads, cleaned up diarrhea and vomit, showered, bathed, dressed, changed diapers and fed many people. I took them to the doctor, the dentist and to hospitals.

I did this for close to 20 years - and I can't tell you what I would do in the situation of the Pillow Angel. If you can, then you are very wise.