The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 387

January 20, 2011
Hate Mailbag Special

Now don't get too excited -- the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is still on hiatus. But a brand new Hate Mailbag is long past due, so here we go!

"Civility" is the new watchword in American politics, and with that in mind you may be wondering how DU is going to present a Hate Mailbag. Well, the answer is simple. This time around we'll be making an all-out effort to keep our responses polite and courteous. Not only that, but all of our responses have been written in a posh English accent, just so it's clear we're really, really serious about this. Think Hugh Grant or Colin Firth. Can you imagine them ever uttering a churlish word? I didn't think so. So sit back, relax, and enjoy this brand new Hate Mailbag, Civility Edition, With Responses Written In A Posh English Accent Just So It's Clear We're Really, Really Serious.

The following are real emails sent to Democratic Underground over the past year, and they have not been edited in any way, although names and email addresses have been removed.

If you've never read the Hate Mailbag before, be aware that it does contain extreme language. You've been warned!


May The Maggot That Spound You FTW

From: Walt W-------- <----------@cox.net>
Subject: JUSTICE

HEY YOU NO GOOD MOTHERFUCKERS GET OUT OF THE USA GO TO FUCKING MEXICO,CUBA, CHINA,NORTH KOREA, YOU LOW LIFE MOTHERFUCKERS SOMEONE NEEDS TO FUCKING TRY YOUR MAGGOT ASSES FOR TREASON AND SHOOT ALL YOU NAZI BASTERDS FUCK OFF EAT SHIT AND MAY THE MAGGOT THAT SPOUND YOU BASTERDS DIE A million deaths in hell!

DU RESPONDS: May the maggot that spound you too sir! And just a suggestion sir, but it looks like your finger got tired of holding Shift before you could finish your sentence! Next time why not try Caps Lock? You'll find it on the left-hand side of your keyboard, what!


Here, This Guy's Got The Idea

From: Me <---------@yahoo.com>
Subject: Your Site

SUCKS BIGTIME.
YOU HIDE THE TRUTH JUST LIKE ALL THE NEOCONS, CHENEYS, BUSHES, PERLES, ETC.
I THINK I NOW HATE ALL DEMOCRATS AS MUCH AS I HATE ALL REPIGS.
YOUR SITE IS A FUKKIN JOKE.
YOU LET SDUDERSTADT SAY ANY SHIT HE WANTS TO.
AS WELL LARED. AS WELL AS ALL YOUR OTHER DISINFORMATION AGENTS.
YOU SUCK--AND I HATE DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND AND ALL OF YOUR SCUM MODERATORS.
FUCK YOU.

DU RESPONDS: Now that's how a pro does it!


While We're On The Subject Of "Fuck You"

From: David S------ <-----------------@comcast.net>
Subject:

Hey Lib ............ FUCK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DU RESPONDS: I shall take that as a compliment, my good man!


I Think He's Trying To Say We're Losers

From: Ray K------ <------@msn.com>
Subject: What a LOSER Website

You and your website are LOSERS!

DU RESPONDS: And may the Lord bless you and keep you sir! May he make his face to shine upon you!


Welcome To The Wrong End Of The Stick

From: Del J------- <------@-----.com>
Subject: Michael Savage

You seem to have a lot of information on Michael Savage. Do you know which station he's on in the Allen County, Indiana area? He is no longer on WOWO - at least in his former slot.

Thank you.

Del J-------

-------, Indiana

DU RESPONDS: I'm dreadfully sorry, I'm not familiar with that name! Fringe type is he?


Conservative Shits Self, Advertises Fact

From: -----------@juno.com
Subject: Keith Oberdumbie

Keith is the brown stain in my underwear.

DU RESPONDS: I think a change of bloomers might be in order old chap!


We're On Notice

From: Christina L--- -@--------------.com
Subject: DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND SPAM ACTIVITIES REPORTED TO YOUTUBE

HEY SKINNER AND TEAM: You AND YOUR USERS are opening ENCOURAGING AND spamming on YOU TUBE which has been documented and reported. This is a warning!

YOUTUBE HAS BEEN ALERTED WITH THIS INFO.

<SNIP>

*****WARNING SEND TO YOU TUBE***

A hateful, anti--AMERICAN LEFTIST WEBSITE, DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND (bottom-feeders of society) IS ENCOURAGING DELIBERATELY SPAMMING this VIDEO ON YOU TUBE video and asking its members to come here and give this video a ((ONE STAR) RATING to disrupt the truth.... SEE LINK HERE FOR PROOF>>

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

DU RESPONDS: Please accept my most sincere apologies madam! I do hope I won't get a visit from the YouTube police!


An Email From God Belss

From: ----------@earthlink.net
Subject: Why Am I banned

Dear Friends,

Suck my balls and lick my ass. Thank you, God Belss

DU RESPONDS: My goodness, Mr. Belss! Should I tongue your taint while I'm at it?


I Really Like Ideas

From: ---------@yahoo.com
Subject: why go there

Why go after info about this man you are the problem in america not tea party why are you afraid of them do you have a problem with Sarah also.Who gave you money to do this Sore ass or demo party .
sorry .ok lets stay on focus nov 2010 all your corrupt goons get voted out than what.I really like Ideas so explain your side.without getting personal on all reps in office or us with views.

DU RESPONDS: Here's an idea for you my dear fellow! Read a fucking book! Oh, I'm terribly sorry, that was awfully uncivil of me... I will endeavour to avoid such mishaps in future!


Word Fail

From: R. Morgan <---------@hotmail.com>
Subject: ISP blocking

What a bunching intolerant liberal tweebs you are.

I'll be back, let's play wack a mole. You game?

DU RESPONDS: Why certainly sir! A friendly game of wack a mole would be just the ticket! I can feel my normally intolerant liberal tweebs bunching in anticipation!


Rush Is Right, Part One

From: roscoe l------- ><-------@gmail.com>
Subject: Rush Limbaugh Airplane

You guys should be a lot more concerned about the piece of crap Kerry Gulfstream with the old (BAD EMMISSIONS) engines than Rush Limbaugh high efficient clean burning engines!

DU RESPONDS: Rush Limbaugh has an airplane? I assumed he just sort of floated from place to place on a cloud of hot air and flatulence! My mistake!


Rush Is Right, Part Two

From: -----------@yahoo.com
Subject: Your Rush Thread

Thanks, guys!

I picked about a dozen of your most hateful, vicious and vile posts wishing suffering and death to Rush Limbaugh and posted them on NewsBusters.com.

You can't say these are not typical because not one of them has been removed for violations of any terms of service. No, this is exactly how sleazy and disgusting you little nazis usually are.

Again, thanks.

Now hundreds more average Americans, thanks to you and me, realize how psychotic and hateful you liberal wingnuts NORMALLY are.

Mike G, Jacksonville FL

An armed and proud right-winger (aka patriotic American).

DU RESPONDS: I say, what's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? I'll tell you! One is a fat Nazi gasbag, and the other is an award-winning talk radio host with talent on loan from God and an audience of 20 million loyal listeners! I for one never believed those sex tourism rumors and I can state without compunction that Rush Limbaugh is not a sex tourist, Rush Limbaugh has never been a sex tourist, and Rush Limbaugh will never be a sex tourist! In fact I find it abhorrent that the words "Rush Limbaugh" and "sex tourist" would even appear in the same sentence, let alone in the same Google search!


Andy Warhol Should Have Said "In The Future, Everyone Will Get Death Threats For Fifteen Minutes"

From: mike b------ <--------@yahoo.com>
Subject: YOUR AN ASSHOLE

Hahahahaha
you freaking pathetic fucking assholes..I see all your anti Michael B----- shit was removed..LOL. I still have my Facebook page with all my obama cross-hair pics. I guess we know who the smart one is huh? idiot. I guess we know who can push the envelope and NOT get in trouble. I can't believe you MORONS thought I could get in trouble for posting a former magazine cover sold on newsstands.. are all your members mentally challenged.. I see your FB page also has been changed..ohhhhhh I guess threatening me and posting my personal info such as my KIDS names, address, and phone number was something close to a cyber hit..I love it I continue and you can't..lucky I did not sue, and believe me I could have but I'm not a liberal, I believe we need to EARN our way..I will be in your area soon. And I may just stop by to visit..ASSHOLE. OBAMA IS A FRAUD, YOU DEMOCRATS ARE ANTI AMERICAN ENTITLEMENT LOVING FREELOADERS AND I PRAY FOR YOUR DEMISE.. How did those Nov. elections turn out for ya??
SEE YA SOON
Mr. Michael B------ ( American Patriot)
Google 1st amendment ASSHOLE. it's sad you want that one abolished

OK LET ME MAKE THIS PERFECTLY CLEAR.. OBLOMO IS A NO GOOD PIECE OF SHIT ELITIST ANTI AMERICAN CONSTITIUTION KILLING KENYAN ASSHOLE.. Got it.. any questions CONFRONT ME but Bring your 2nd amendment with you.. and bring it big because I love my 2nd amendment more than my wife and believe me I will exercise it.. I love exercising.. LIBERALS SUCK ASS.. Hope I covered it.

DU RESPONDS: Oh don't worry sir, you covered it all right!


Liberals Love Karl Mark

From: JOHN D---------- <------@----------.com>
Subject: America is NOT Socialist

Socialist, Communist, Fascist, Markist Faggot, Godless, Bastards have NO place in America! Move to China you filthy Pigs! Or just keep aborting yourselves into extinction!

DU RESPONDS: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, sir? That mouth which has spent all morning suckling on the naughty bits of your sister's pet spaniel, you disgusting pervert? Oh... pardon me sir, I do apologize! I really don't know where that came from! I assure you it won't happen again!


This Guy Must Watch The History Channel

From: George L L---- <-------@-----.cc>
Subject: Re: Why my posting privileges were revoked aka: BigShow

Never mind about un-reovking my posting privileges, after following a few threads,I noticed the moba-erators are as bad as the Nazi's, deleting posts because of an opinion that does not follow the party lines. I prefer to find a group that lets each have their own opinion, and stay independant. Now I remember why I did not join the democratic party, you are no different than the repugs.

Respectfully

George L-----

DU RESPONDS: Far be it from me to correct you on your knowledge of yesteryear old chap, but I don't think World War II happened because the Nazis were going around deleting people's posts!


Thanks For The Reminder

From: Bertrand W----- <-------------@yahoo.com>
Subject: Revoked

Ok, please tell me what I said that upset someone. God you are a bunch of pansies. Wahhh

DU RESPONDS: Yes, I think that might have been it!


This One Never Gets Old

From: Anthony P---------- <--------@bak.rr.com>
Subject: Forum Variety

Just for giggles, why not add some variety to your powerful web site.

"Top 10 Liberal Idiots" by a banned conservative disputer.

Here are a few names I'll give you, at no charge, to help you get started.

Nancy Pelosi

Harry Reid

Barney Frank

Chris Mathews

Al Franken

Al Gore

Robert Gibbs

Bill Maher

Jimmy Carter

Barbra Boxer

Let me know what ya think - I'd love to help!

DU RESPONDS: I'd like to let you know what I think old bean, but unfortunately it's nearly time for my nap! How about I give you call tomorrow and we'll hash it out then eh!


Is That You, Sarah Palin?

From: Beth P------ <--------@verizon.net>
Subject: Blaming Bush

You know what: I am so sick of you people blaming Bush. DumbBama has made our country a laughing stock around the world, nothing more than a Radical Socialist Pig. The lame sream media never reports on whats really going on in the Big Black Mama's House. Why don't you report on Rev. Jim Wallace--Obama's new spititual advisor. His ties ti Bill Ayers---- Domestic terrorist. The Tide Foundation, the Joyce Foundation, Joel Rodgers and the whole Emerald City scam, How about Al Gores invovement with the Chicago Climate Exchange,which includes GOLDMAN SACS Bank., S.E.I.U's and Van Jones (commie) invovement. How about Franklin Rains.ripping off Freddie and Fannie and the American people 90 million dollars. Why isn't he in prison? Union people showing up at bankers homes and threatening them? They show up at my house, they will need bodybags, You jerk-offs are treading on dangerous ground and better hope things don't turn like what is happening in Greece, Germany, Spain,ect. cause you will have to hide under a rock. Obama a world leader,what a joke, he is a joke as our President, and a bad one at that. I wouldn't even waste my Urine pissin on his head. Come November you all will be defeated and Obama will be a lame ass duck just like Bush because of a Democratic congress. Mat God's wrath pour upon your heads, bunch of arrogant ignorant BASTARDS. My skin is thick. and I' m justing sitting here clinging to my guns and Bible. See ya on the battle lines.

DU RESPONDS: Oh, piss off you moron! I am so fucking sick and tired of the nonsensical bullshit spouted by you brainwashed right-wing imbeciles and your fucking vacuous mouthbreathing repetition of every single idiotic lie that Glenn Beck scrawls across his motherfucking chalkboard! Oh, ahem... Gosh, how embarrassing! Rather lost control of myself there! Probably time to take that nap now! Toodle-oo!