"In the event of allegations, open and public, of impropriety of a sexual nature, by

1. Any person with "XX" chromosomes
2. Any person with the anatomical manifestations thereof

In instances where the alleged perpetrator of that impropriety is any person with "XY" chromosomes, AND that person is affiliated with the Republican™ brand or its subsidiaries (including, but not limited to GOP™, Tea Party™, Koch Industries™, FOX News™ or News Corp.™), the national Emergency Alert System (EAS) will be immediately deployed to inform the public that the instigator of those allegations is

1. Hysterical
2. Socially incompetent
3. Ugly
4. Humorless
5. Greedy
6. A Democrat
7. Racist
8. Malevolent
9. Menstruating
10. Wrong"

----------------------------


Just think of the time and money we'd save as a nation if the Republican noise machine didn't have to spend countless hours and kilowatts trying to apply those labels indirectly. We could just get right to it. Rush could get back to making fun of the handicapped and crushing Oxy pills with his ice cream spoon. FOX could get back to creating, packaging and then reporting on conservative "grass-roots" organizations, while yelling that the Occupiers are trust-fund Nazi socialists who can't afford soap.

And those women - Republicans and Democrats alike - could just get right back to the business of shutting up and taking it.




(there isn't a tag dripping with enough sarcasm to go here)