...tell 'em Barnaby says hello.

I have no idea what your intent was, but all the "fuck you" and "piss on an electric fence" shit in this thread seems to show a lot about you as a human being.

I don't know if you're a homophobe (though you certainly have a little bit to learn about sensitivity to GLBT concerns -- ooh, loog at that big fag Giuliani http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu... ) but I do know you're a pathetic excuse for a human being who seeks to get his way through bullying, browbeating, and intimidation.

Go ahead and tell me to piss on an electric fence, go ahead and say "fuck you." The taunts of an emotional third-grader hurt me about as much as... well, nothing.

NL EAST
Mets 92-70
Braves 83-79
Phillies 84-78
Nationals 81-81
Marlins 65-97

Best bet to win 100 games: Mets
Best bet to lose 100 games: Marlins, by a long shot
Best bet to exceed expectations: Nationals
Best bet to be worse than expected: Yep, the Marlins could even be worse than I think. They really suck. Like, 2003 Tigers kind of suck.

What do you get when you take a team that won 185 games over the past two years, and add the best pitcher in baseball? The 2008 Mets. Johan Santana gives an already outstanding core (Jose Reyes, David Wright, Carlos Beltran) the ace that trumps all aces. If Pedro's healthy, this team could win 100. It's still hard to count out the Braves and Phils, especially in the wild card race in an extremely competitive National League. Philadelphia has the bats to beat anyone (2006 and 2007 MVPs Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins, not to mention the best second baseman in baseball, Chase Utley), and Bobby Cox has been known to make a little magic in Atlanta over the past couple of decades. Absent another historic September swoon, though, I don't see either challenging the Mets.

In the second division, we have Washington and Florida. The Nationals are half of a good team. They have a decent lineup, but the pitching leaves something to be desired. A lot to be desired. Now, what to say about the Florida Marlins? They're the best bet in all of baseball to lose 100 games this year. They have a true talent in shortstop Hanley Ramirez -- a true hitting talent, that is. He could DH for most American League teams; but he couldn't play shortstop for any of them. The Marlins lost Miguel Cabrera to the Tigers, which improves their left-side defense, but costs them about 50 runs a year on offense. They lost 90 last year, and will lose more this year.

NL CENTRAL
Brewers 89-71
Cubs 87-75
Reds 81-81
Astros 78-84
Pirates 72-90
Cardinals 71-91

Best bet to win 100 games: none
Best bet to lose 100 games: Cardinals
Best bet to exceed expectations: Reds
Best bet to be worse than expected: Cardinals

I'm not just being a homer here. The Brewers will win the division. I'll share three arguments that have been made in favor of the Cubs and the "sleeper favorite" Reds, and tell you why they don't work:

1) The Cubs won the division last year, and only got better with the addition of Kosuke Fukudome.

They may have gotten better, but they weren't that great to begin with. They spent half the season beating up on weak competition, and their pitching remains suspect. Fukudome, meanwhile, looks like another Hideki Matsui -- fine player, sure, but hardly a superstar.

2) The Reds have a great core of young talent, and are a team on the upswing.

This should be true. However, Dusty Baker will play Corey Patterson and Scott Hatteberg over Jay Bruce and Joey Votto. He'll also manage pitchers like Dusty Baker, resulting in subpar seasons from Harang and Arroyo (if not ruining their carrers -- c.f. Prior, Mark and Wood, Kerry).

3) The Brewers played above their heads last year, and have nowhere to go but down.

This is the most asinine assessment I've heard. Maybe Ryan Braun won't hit .330 again, maybe Prince Fielder won't bash 50 homers. Still, they're 24 years old this season, Rickie Weeks and J.J. Hardy are 25, Corey Hart (the best right fielder in the league last year) is 26, Bill Hall is 28 -- the players at the heart of this lineup are just entering their peak seasons, and will continue to deliver a ton of runs for the Brewers until free agancy takes them to greener bankrolls. They have an outstanding core of young pitching talent (Yovanni Gallardo, Manny Parra, Carlos Villanueva), and the defense took a quantum leap forward with Mike Cameron (and Tony Gwynn, until Cameron comes back from suspension) in center and Braun moved far, far away from the hot corner. If Ben Sheets is healthy -- yes, I know that's a HUGE "if" -- this team could be the second-best in the league (they're not better than the Mets, yet).

The Cubs are a good team, but not a great one. The Reds have a ton of talent, but they also have a manager who values being old over being good, and a management culture that doesn't see the value of a left fielder who hits 40 home runs and draws 100 walks EVERY FREAKIN' YEAR. The Astros have one of the best pitchers (Roy Oswalt) and one of the best hitters (Lance Berkman) in the league, yet the rest of the team is weak enough to keep them below .500.

The Pirates have finally gotten out from under the shadow of Cam Bonifay, but they're still not a good team. Better, yes, and they have quality pitching -- but they just won't score nearly enough runs to compete in this division. And two years after winning the World Series, the Cardinals are so bad that they'll lose almost as many games as the Marlins and Giants; despite having Albert Pujols, the best hitter in the major leagues. Who is, of course, hurt.

NL WEST
Diamondbacks 88-74
Dodgers 87-75
Padres 82-80
Rockies 79-83
Giants 70-92

Best bet to win 100 games: Diamondbacks
Best bet to lose 100 games: Giants
Best bet to exceed expectations: Rockies
Best bet to be worse than expected: Rockies. Screw it.

If the D'Backs won the World Series, would it make a sound? Okay, I don't think they'll go that far, but this is a damn good team. Strong hitters (and a park that favors their skills), a Cy Young award winner (Brandon Webb, who may have deserved a second last year), and a pitcher (Micah Owings) who hits like a first baseman. The Dodgers could compete, too -- actually, any team in the West not named "The San Francisco Giants" have a chance. Los Angeles boasts an outstanding rotation and bullpen in a sweet park for pitchers. Their lineup isn't great, but they won't need to score a lot of runs to win at Chavez Ravine. They do have one of the best catchers in baseball; and they've got Joe Torre, who's already proven his value to his new team by opting to start punchy Andre Ethier over slap-hitting speedster Juan Pierre.

The Padres return with great pitching and mediocre hitting in the best pitchers' park in baseball. However, whereas the Dodgers will manage to score enough runs to stay in this till the end, I don't think the Padres will. Both Los Angeles and San Diego could win more games than I expect them to.

The biggest variable in the division (maybe in all of Major League Baseball) is Coors Field. I'll be honest, I have no idea how the hell to project the Rockies. Yes, they went to the Series last year, but they could lose 85 games this year. For that matter, they could win 90. I pretty much just threw a dart at some numbers to come up with their projected record for 2008. And I don't think they have the talent of the D'Backs, Dodgers, or Pads.

There's no nice way of saying this: the Giants are a horrible, horrible team with a couple of good pitchers.

AL EAST
Yankees 93-69
Red Sox 91-71
Blue Jays 85-77
Rays 82-80
Orioles 72-90

Best bet to win 100 games: Yankees. No, Red Sox. No, Yankees.
Best bet to lose 100 games: Orioles
Best bet to exceed expectations: Blue Jays
Best bet to be worse than expected: Yanks. I have them picked to win, they've got nowhere to go but down.

A lot of people are saying this is the year th Evil Empire goes in the tank. Sorry, Yankee-haters, but it just ain't so. Sure, Joe Girardi's going to be relying on unproven young pitchers, but what about Josh Beckett's back? What about Curt Schilling's walker? You want to talk about relying on inexperienced youth, I'd say the second most reliable Boston starter this year is going to be rookie Clay Buchholz. Daisuke Matsuzaka will continue to pitch solidly, and the Red Sox' bullpen will shine. The back end of the rotation, however, will be a question mark, and New York will likely have better starting pitching.

Both the Yankees and the BoSox will trot out some impressive young players. Robinson Cano may well bring a batting title home to the Bronx, and rookie Jacoby Ellsbury will have an immediate impact in Boston. That said, a lot of the big hitters on both teams are just getting older. Don't count on another .338 average from Jorge Posada, that ain't in the cards. Manny Ramirez will continue to slide, and a repeat performance by Mike Lowell is extremely unlikely.

All that said, the Yankees and Red Sox are still two of the five best teams in baseball. The real tricky player in this division is Toronto. The Blue Jays have the talent, especially on the mound. The question is, can they stay healthy? With a little luck, it's possible the Jays can knock the Yanks or Sox out of #2. It's not likely, but it's possible.

Speaking of the possible and impossible, do I actually have Tampa Bay projected to end up with a winning record? Yes, I do. I don't know if that's because of the strength of their team (which really could be good in a couple of years) or the brutality that is Baltimore baseball, but I see the not-so-devilish Rays playing around .500 ball, with a good change to break that barrier for the first time in their existence. Meanwhile, the Orioles could hire a Tijuana burro-show ass to run the show, and it wouldn't hurt their record any.

AL CENTRAL
Indians 90-72
Tigers 88-74
Twins 80-82
White Sox 75-87
Royals 73-89

Best bet to win 100 games: Indians
Best bet to lose 100 games: none
Best bet to exceed expectations: Twins
Best bet to be worse than expected: Tigers

Even with the addition of Miguel Cabrera's golden bat and iron glove, I don't see the Tigers passing the Tribe this year. They just don't have consistent pitching after Jeremy Bonderman; Magglio Ordonez and (especially) Gary Sheffield and Ivan Rodriguez are on the wrong side of old; and their bullpen could prove ghastly. Cleveland, meanwhile, has Grady Sizemore and Victor Martinez, reigning Cy Young award winner C.C. Sabathia (and #4 in the voting Fausto Carmona), and a much stronger pen (despite Eric Wedge's odd fascination with keeping Joe Borowski as closer). Travis Hafner is poised for a rebound year, and Asdrubal Cabrera will be with the team all season. The corners aren't as productive, and we don't know which Jhonny Peralta will show up -- but even the Indians' weakest hitters will feast on Detroit's relievers.

The Twins have some solid players, but not enough to mount a serious challenge. That, and they just gave up the best pitcher in baseball. Still, they could surprise. The ChiSox and Royals are both weak teams this year, and will duke it out for the worst record in the division. I anticipate that the race for fourth place will be more exciting than the race for first.

AL WEST
Angels 83-79
Athletics 81-81
Rangers 75-87
Mariners 72-90

Best bet to win 100 games: none
Best bet to lose 100 games: None -- they'll all be busy piling up wins against the shit teams in their division.
Best bet to exceed expectations: Mariners
Best bet to be worse than expected: Angels

In baseball's weakest division, everything is a crapshoot.

I'm going to start at the bottom this time, because the big surprise is that I have the Mariners projected to lose 90 games, while several writers have picked them to win the division. Why? Eric Bedard may be a great pitcher, but this is the American League and he won't get the chance to hit -- which is really the only way he can win, as nobody else is going to be doing any hitting on this ballclub, with the exception of Ichiro! Mediocre defense and miserable offense will make losers of even the best pitchers, and I think Bedard and Felix Hernadez have a long season ahead of them. That said, I have them as my team most likely to exceed expectations -- but that has more to do with their crap division than with their crap team.

The Angels are old and overrated. They'll score some runs, they'll have some decent pitching, but they're still really not much more than a .500 ballclub. Hell, I have the A's picked to come in second, and they're in the middle of a "rebuilding" (read: uncompetitive) phase. The Rangers don't have the offense to offset what The Ballpark at Arlington will do to their pitchers.


NL ROY: Kosuke Fukudome. If Dusty Baker gets fired in April, maybe Joey Votto.
AL ROY: Jacoby Ellsbury
NL CYA: Johan Santana (what, you think I'm gonna make a stupid "sleeper" pick?)
AL CYA: Scott Kazmir (this is my stupid "sleeper" pick)
NL MVP: David Wright
AL MVP: Grady Sizemore

Halfway through our second basket of those crappy (yet addictive) cheesy biscuit things, this dude shows up and starts yelling at us.

Me, I'm like "what the fuck?" and she explains that he's this stalker guy she went to a movie with once, and he's been showing up outside her classes and playing with himself outside her dorm window and shit. So yeah, that was really messed up.

Anyway, after Red Lobster, she took me back to her place and nailed me. It was totally hot. She's into some freaky shit, too.

..."consolidation with Iran to make a regional superpower which holds equal animosity toward Saudi Arabia, Israel, the United States, and Europe; making life very uncomfortable for us all for at least a generation."


Thanks, George.

Then send me this mix tape:

side one
"Oh Comely" Neutral Milk Hotel Start with the saddest song ever. A few minutes of mourning a lover, a friend, whatever it is that has gotten Jeff Magnum all wordy and distraught. There is loss here already, even before the third verse and its Anne Frank death scene. Then the most plaintive horns you've ever heard fall in, after 5 or 6 minutes of sparse acoustic guitar and vocals too high for the singer's range, only to be wiped away by an epilogue in which our dear narrator is being slowly digested in the belly of some forest beast.

Know all your enemies. We know who our enemies are.

"Wouldn't It Be Nice?" The Beach Boys See, I *am* older now. Brian Wilson's WAY older. And the song's still the same. A hymn to teenage yearning has, forty years later, become a eulogy to a dream deferred. It's truly a rare and precious piece of art that can change its very meaning as time passes; and when Wilson's dead, when his entire generation no more exists as anything but a footnote in history; the song will live on and change still, and touch the lives of those as yet unborn. It matters, and we don't: that's the legacy of this song (and several other Beach Boys numbers). Songs like this really make it clear how small we are.

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn't have to wait so long.

"Caring Is Creepy" The Shins This song sounds as much like the Beach Boys as any other song I've ever heard. At the same time, it sounds nothing like the Beach Boys. The Shins garnered a degree of fame with their presence on the Garden State soundtrack, and one can understand why. There are, from time to time, records that are so immediately recognizable that they stick with you. Then, after a few more listens, after humming the tunes in your head for a week, something else sinks in, a new recognition, a sense of importance in your life. That's my relation to "Caring Is Creepy" -- as Bob Dylan once wrote, "every one of them words rang true and glowed like burnin' coal."

This is way beyond my remote concern of being condescending.

"Underdog" Sly and the Family Stone Even before their second album, Sylvester Stewart et. al. had proven themselves equal to the task of mounting a full-out frontal assault on the pop music status quo, be it rock or soul. A truly integrated band, both in the racial makeup of the musicians and in the styles of music they played, the Family here unleashes a funky rave-up that attacks the societal barriers facing the poor and black in America. But this is about more than race, it's about more than class; it's about being stuck WHEREVER you are, in whatever situation, and being unable to rise above your circumstances. This song is about futility, man, the very state of being always behind, always outside, always less than what you wanna be. We've all felt that way sometimes, I know I sure as hell have, and that's why this is here.

I know how it feels to expect to get a fair shake, but they won't let you forget that you're the underdog and you've got to be twice as good.

"Dear God" XTC The loss of faith is a traumatic moment for many. It doesn't even have to be a loss of faith in God, it could be a human betrayal. But we have all at one point or another been in that place where we have put ourselves, our lives, in the hands of another... only to be betrayed. "Dear God" is not the epistle of a lifelong atheist, otherwise it would lack the emotional directness. No, these are the words of someone who was taught to believe, who tried to believe, who *wanted* to believe; but has seen and felt so much that he cannot. "I wish there were a god," Andy Partridge seems to be saying, "and the realization that there isn't hurts even more than all those things which led me to that realization." He punches a tree in the video, so you know he's really upset.

And if you're up there, you perceive that my heart's here upon my sleeve; if there's one thing I don't believe in, it's you.

"Crazy" Patsy Cline Not much to say here. Willie Nelson's best song, delivered by one of the finest pairs of vocal cords this country has ever produced. We've all been there.

Crazy for thinkin' that my love could hold you. I'm crazy for tryin' and I'm crazy for cryin' and I'm crazy for loving you.

"The Only One" Billy Bragg I listened to a lot of Billy Bragg in high school. I also had a hell of a time falling in love with the right girl in high school (that is to say, it didn't happen). Bragg's reputation as the socialist with the heart of gold had been nurtured over two albums and several EPs by 1988, but that year's Worker's Playtime, despite its title, really strayed toward the over-the-top lost love songs. "The Only One" struck a chord with me at a time when I was pining for a girl who lived a two hours' drive away -- and besides, she really didn't want me, anyway.

I long to let our love run free, yet here I am, a victim of geography.

"Human Hands" Elvis Costello and the Attractions The early '80s was a fine time for the bespectacled Elvis. Great record seemed to follow great record at least once or twice a year. Rarely has the Angry Young Man been so direct, though. There's no metaphor here, no lyrical bravado, just a scared little boy too weak to say what he means in any form other than a song that she won't hear anyway, 'cause he'll only sing it sitting on the edge of his bed in the middle of the night. Or on stage in front of thousands. Six of one.

Do I have to draw you a diagram?

"If there Is Something" Roxy Music I absolutely adore early Roxy. But why does this song make the cut? Why is this the most emotionally arresting song Bryan Ferry has ever been responsible for? It's not the lyrics, not the music -- on paper, "Sea Breezes," "Chance Meeting," or "Strictly Confidential" are far sadder songs. The answer lies in a single note played upon Andy MacKaye's clarinet. So high that it stretches the boundaries of the instrument's register, it quivers for a second in the stratosphere before breathlessly faltering and collapsing into Ferry's piano and yearning coda.

Pick up your feet and put them on the ground you used to walk upon when you were young.

"Death of a Thought Returns" Great Plains Anyone who knows me knows that I have to include a band from Columbus, OH on every compilation. Well, here they are, Dr. Demento's favorite "straight" act. Ron House is known for lyrics that are clever, witty, subversive -- but not generally passionate and raw. Not often is House suspected of putting too much of his own vulnerabilities (other than his inability to sing even remotely well) into a song, and perhaps he's not here... but if not, it's a hell of an act. This is the aftermath of betrayal stripped bare, and with the singer taking half the responsibility for being betrayed upon himself. Maybe he is at fault. Maybe he dumped her before he "seen her with him." After all, he admits that he "can't follow things to their ends." That doesn't mean it hurts any less to know that she's going home with him.

I can't talk while I fuck, but I can talk about you.

"Think" Curtis Mayfield An instrumental from the Superfly soundtrack. If the building layers (guitar, then drums, then piano, then full band and sax lead) don't get me, the flute vibrato at the end will.

side two
"Here Comes the Summer" Fiery Furnaces Chicago natives Eleanor and Matthew Friedberger have garnered quite a following among the "kool kids," and it's easy to see why. She's got a killer voice; and he can play any instrument ever invented, and write some of the weirdest pop songs you've ever heard. That's the real genius of the Furnaces, no matter whether the song in question came from Matt's or Eleanor's fevered brain: they are instantly accessible, radio-friendly sing-alongs; but the nursery rhyme lyrics and unorthodox rhythms and bizarre instrumentation keep the listener constantly off-guard. This is a hymn to nostalgia. Nostalgia for the future. And therefore reminds one of the Buzzcocks, which is always a good thing. Eleanor's singing is very direct and heartfelt, and the lyrics have nothing to do with pirates or dogs or the plague -- they're just honest.

It'll be so long until it's soon. It'll be too long until it's June.

"Madame George" Van Morrison What could be more fucking depressing than "Candy Says?" The same song, turned into a 10-minute dirge by an Irishman.

Outside they're makin' all the stops, kids out in the street collecting bottle-tops, gone for cigarettes and matches in the shops....

"Talk of the Town" The Pretenders The "oops" moment. When distant admiration reveals itself not only to the object of your affection, but to everybody. Holding on to hope that you might, just maybe, be wanted in return (but you know you won't be). The laughter and whispering that follows. Everyone knows he/she is out of your league. Maybe you're too poor. Too ugly. Too stupid. Maybe you're an asshole who is unworthy of being loved. I don't know, but you have no right to feel the way you do. Doesn't change the fact, though.

Such a drag to want something sometimes; one thing leads to another, I know.

"Into My Arms" Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds I've got my own reasons. Sometimes things don't go according to plans.

I don't believe in an interventionist god
But I know, darling, that you do
And if I did I would kneel down and ask him
Not to intervene when it came to you
Not to touch a hair on your head
To leave you as you are
And if he felt he had to direct you
Then direct you into my arms

"I've Been Loving You too Long to Stop Now" Otis Redding The Love Man with pain in his heart. This is one of the first "mature" relationship songs in the rock & soul era, the prototype for tunes such as Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes' "If You Don't Know Me by Now." This is not some flash-in-the-pan romance gone south, this is an affair of many years. This love is a drug. It's what keeps Otis going. She's gotten stuck in a rut, she doesn't feel the same passion she once did, but Otis can't accept that. He's gonna cling to every last second, he's gonna hold on to her till she gets a restraining order. He can't bear the thought of losing her any more than he can stop breathing. It's a warning to all of us: if you got something good, don't let it get boring.

I luhvya! I luhvya! I luhvya! Goodgodahmighty, I luhvya!

"Hurt" Johnny Cash Trent Reznor wrote the song as a twenty-something Gen-Xer in all his "look at me, I'm so miserable" glory. The Man in Black recorded it through the lens of seventy fuckin' years. Sick. Old. His beloved wife dying. I'm not trying to dis Reznor here, I can't get inside his head. Maybe the song was based in something real in his heart -- but my generation often has difficulty making it seem genuine. We're so MTVed that everything looks like a video. Pretense. A dog and pony show put out there to get some tail. Cash had gotten enough tail. He'd done enough drugs. He'd made enough money. He didn't need anything more. He only sang what mattered to him by this point. This performance is 100% real; and you must be utterly heartless if it doesn't move you, at least a little.

If I could start again, a million miles away....

"Bird Dream of the Olympus Mons" Pixies An odd choice, I admit. I used to sing this song to my little cockatiel, Entropy. Then she died. And I had nobody to sing it to any more (my other birds didn't give a shit whether or not I sang to them).

Into the mountain I will fall.

"Killing Me Softly with His Song" Roberta Flack Yeah, I know Lori Lieberman wrote it about Don McLean (Don fucking McLean?), but I don't care. This is Roberta's song, and she sings the hell out of it. More importantly, it sums up this whole theoretical compilation. I chose these songs for *my* pain, goddammit, I chose the songs that affect ME. That's how music touches us, it's when we can feel a song is *about* us and how we feel. "Singin' my life with his words," indeed.

I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud.

"Secret Fires" The Gun Club This is a song of struggle. Of losing everything except that one person -- lover, child, parent, friend -- one person who is all you have left that means anything. This isn't stereotypical Gun Club L.A. punk rock, this is Jeffrey Lee Pierce with an acoustic guitar and some high lonesome pedal steel. It's also probably the closest Jeff ever came to singing on-key. I know what it's like to be shit broke. To skip meals so my wife and kids could have something to eat that day. Many others have had these experiences, too. This song is about that struggle that so many of us have lived, looked at from some point in the future when the scene has changed. The special person isn't around any more, but what they shared will always resonate. Jeff's not around any more, either. But his songs still are.

Touch me through your screen door, I want to remeber you.

"You Set the Scene" Love Arthur Lee died late last year, and it really fucked me up. He had Leukemia. He'd spent the better part of the last decade in prison. And it had been almost 40 years since he'd made any viable art. But what he made is eternal. Possibly the most impeccably arranged song on the most impeccably arranged rock & roll album ever, "You Set the Scene" is the gold standard for playing mariachi horns against strings for full dramatic effect until the whole thing swells into a tuba-punctuated orchestral orgy that would make George Martin blush with envy. When an arrangement's this good, this soul-stirring, who even cares about the song? But the song's a killer, too. A Herrick-esque carpe diem poem following a paranoid 2-verse introduction wrapped around perhaps the most coherent musical structure ever conceived by a hippy. When the last "time" fades into the torrent of brass, remembering how I felt when Arthur died, it's hard enough to remain dry-eyed in that instant. Following the hour-plus of music that preceeds it here, I don't see how it would be possible.

This is the time in life that I am living
And I'll face each day with a smile
For the time that I've been given's such a little while
And the things that I must do consist of more than style
There'll be time for you to start all over
This is the time and this is the time and it is
Time time time time time time time time




So, dear DUers, this is my challenge to you. Post your own made-up mix tape. Give it a theme -- it doesn't have to make you cry, it can make you laugh. It can make you happy, it can make you angry. Just make it MEAN something to you. Make it matter. Tell us a little something about why you chose the songs you did. Share the love.

Ha, ha. You can't hide this thread, jerks.

I'm sorry, mods! I can't help myself! I have a problem!


Just lock this quietly, before the responses get too out of hand, okay?

No, I'm not one of those youth gone wild types... mom's older than me, and she's not my biological kid, but she's my kid nonetheless.

It's weird having a teenager when you're only 31. I mean, I'm sure it's weird having a teenager ANYWAY, but when you've only known them AS teenagers, it's doubly strange. Teens don't work right. They're broken. I mean, I was one once, and I was a fucking idiot. The way the emotions get all tangled up with facts and twist things around -- hell, I got that enough in my own old life, I sure as hell don't know how to deal with it when it's someone else's.

But it's good. I mean, it just is. She's really a wonderful girl. Yeah, she's 16 -- she fucks up sometimes, but who doesn't? She's smart, inquisitive, kind (most of the time ), beautiful, and talented.

I never wanted kids until I met dolo amber. As luck would have it, she had two, and I didn't have much choice. But it's been the best thing ever to happen to me. I have a family. I come home and find my wife and my two lovely daughters there. It's the home I want, and it's because of all of them, as a group and as individuals.

Corinne's had a lot of living to do in those 16 years. She's had to move around a lot. It's got to be hard to be so young and not really have a firm place to stand, a real "home." But see, that's the plan now. Things are looking up. It looks like finally, things may be settling down to the point where in a couple of years she can face the world as an adult and say "this is who I am, and this is where I come from." And it's showing.

She's growing up. I can see the changes in the two years we've been a family. She's learning things and experiencing things, and growing wiser because of it. And she's shaping up to be a damn decent young woman. And if I don't say that enough, that's on me, not her.

So, dolo, make sure Rin reads this. I want her to know how much I love the girl she is, and respect the woman she's becoming. I got into this for you, and you know how I feel about you -- but the girls are every bit as responsible for the goodness in my life as you are, and they need to know that, even if I'm not as good at expressing it when they're being annoying children.

Happy birthday, Rin. I love you.

And so does mom, even though she'd never say such a thing in public.

I remember when Andy Stephenson lay dying, and many here (even some who were once among his greatest supporters) thought the whole "cancer" thing was a fraud. And when some people -- nobody knows who, could have been FReepers, could have been DUers, managed to hold up his treatment.

That was worse that suck. That was just fucking evil.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNDXZfk7CXA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDmLH2rg28U
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1CgOuq2mtg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dip-FtbsD8E
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHeI68KFGm0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPJEr2SVFME
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fywFvxxHDQ (with dolo amber, whoisalhedges, and jane_pippin in attendance)

I mean, other than the kids whose grandparents made them come.

Frank Paul Zeidler was mayor of Milwaukee from 1948 to 1960, well before I was born. Two hours I spent yesterday in line at the funeral home for his visitation. Can't remember the last time I spent two hours in line and didn't get to ride a roller coaster afterward. Everyone was talking, remembering the mayor.

I didn't remember him. Not personally. I only knew him from his legacy: what he wrote, what he said, what he did. I knew the man from words and images, many more of which were forthcoming in the rooms of Schmidt & Bartelt Funeral and Cremation Services. Stories, too numerous to count, of when mourners served on committees with Frank, when they went to school with his kids, when they campaigned with him for a more just world. And pictures lining the queue -- Frank and Agnes, around the time they were married; Frank, Carl, and Dorothy at their home as children; election night, 1948 -- and, most memorably for me: Frank with Joe Rody, a local organizer and activist who passed away last year, and with whom I had the pleasure of working on the Kucinich campaign back in 2003.

Finally, I reached the end of the stories, the end of the pictures. Lined up by the casket were the mayor's children and his wife of 67 years. I expressed my condolences to Agnes Zeidler before heading back out into the not-exactly-July-like cool rain that had decided to mark the occasion.

"What was your relation to Frank?"

"I'm a citizen."

"I hope he'll be remembered for a long time."

"I know he will be."

A long time ago, some B-list actor wrote "the evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones." That must not be the case here. It is incumbent upon the people of Milwaukee to be Frank Zeidler's legacy, the face by which the world knows our former mayor. He was more than just the last Socialist mayor of a major American city; he was an historian, a living link to our past, he was a true role model.

His ideology was simple: act out of love and respect for your fellow human beings. That is how he governed, that is how he lived.

Requiscat in pace, Mayor Zeidler. We will miss you. We will remember you.